Getting A Real Job

“I need to get a real job,” I repeat in my mind, panic coursing through my body as Chef glares at me while spewing insults my way. Its 7PM, on a Sunday night. I happen to be the only busser on, and the restaurant is packed. Tables are running long, and reservations are backed up. And I have just dropped an entire tray of glassware in the back of the kitchen. This catastrophe has not only taken place in the middle of the walkway blocking the path downstairs to the dish pit and the pastry chef, but also created a huge scene and massive mess that I do not have time to clean up. The world actually slows down around me and I am frozen in place staring at shards of glass all over the kitchen, acutely aware of the hushed silence that has swept over the restaurant — as it always does — when someone breaks something. My mind runs through every reason I have ever had to quit, right here, on the spot. This job sucks. It’s just the job I have until I get a real job. It’s a placeholder, and I don’t need this shit. I have a college degree for Christ’s sake. Just as quickly as the panic flooded my body, grit has now replaced it, and time begins to move again. I do the impossible. I somehow clear all the glass out of the way within a matter of seconds, and hustle to continue bussing tables, running food, and maintaining the flow of the restaurant. Because that is what you do. As a service industry professional, you know that you don’t get to mull over mistakes for very long. You must think and turn on a dime. Your job is to uphold the continuity of the metaphorical dance happening all around you, regardless of any circumstance, and you do it with grace and a smile, God damnit. And now, as I plaster my smile to my face, my tune changes… I fucking love this job.

The night I broke an obscene amount of water glasses was in August 2011. I was 2 months in at my first industry job ever, fresh out of college, and I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Hostessing and bussing seemed like a great way to make ends meet and meet new people while I stumbled along my path, looking for answers. While I looked for a real job. You know what I mean — the ol’ 9–5 grind that typically comes with healthcare, PTO, a 401K, the works. Sitting in an office or cubicle 5 days a week, usually working for ‘the man’, generally disillusioned with life and living for the weekend. That’s the job that I was supposed to be looking for. That was the life I was supposed to live, after all. My mother had been in the same job industry since she was 18 years old; she had worked her ass off to make it all the way to the top and reaped all the rewards that tend to come with 30+ years in the same industry. Did she give a shit about working in insurance? Probably not as much as she gave a shit about the safety, security and predictability of always knowing her schedule, always knowing how much her paycheck would be for, and probably not as much as she depended on the benefits that came with a real job. She had a family to raise after all and putting food in the mouths of 5 kids adds up quick. And that is what she wanted for me. She wanted my financial safety and my future to be my first priority, not some ‘party job’, as she assumed my work at a restaurant really was. As my months in the industry grew into years, I could sense her feelings of insecurity over my future growing deeper. But she had never worked in the hospitality industry and she just didn’t get it. She could never understand the pull it had on me. I was resonating with Princess Jasmine more and more each day; the restaurant industry was my metaphorical Aladdin, showing me a whole new world. And as more time passed, I also began to realize that we — my industry cohorts and I — were single handedly responsible for creating a space to escape to for all those people who had a real job. We were providing a refuge for the lost souls who had convinced themselves that working 9–5 was the life that they wanted to live (and of course, for those who truly did enjoy that life, for there is nothing wrong with it if that’s what you want). And we were learning more life skills in one week of work than most people will learn in a lifetime.

I have worked in innumerable industries and none of them have prepared me for life quite like the hospitality industry has. I’ve learned to stay cool and calm under pressure, how to move mountains to make the unattainable attainable, how to multitask, how to have thick skin, how to manage people and environments, how to connect with people from every walk of life — from celebrities to professional athletes and ‘regulars’ to the homeless guy who comes in every Friday to get some water — and everything in between, and how to see the forest for the trees and manage every single one of them, and quite literally — how to make dreams come true. These skills are all invaluable and are definitely life skills that have become essential to my everyday existence — but the most outstanding skills that I have acquired relate directly to connecting with other human beings. And that’s what this crazy little thing called life is really all about, isn’t it? I have learned to not take things so personally, the value of clear and concise communication, to hear the things that people are not saying and read in-between the lines, how valuable a small gesture truly can be and how one person can sincerely impact the magnitude of someone else’s date night or special evening. All of these skills have directly affected the way I relate to the world around me and have sharpened my ability to exist as a more substantial human being in this world. I have also made some of the absolute best friends and fostered the most genuine and impactful relationships in my life due to my tenure in the industry. The hospitality industry is not for the faint of heart, and the connections that you make on the front line run deeper than any other I have seen.

So, with all of the aforementioned benefits that tend to befall those who have worked in the hospitality industry, why is it that as a whole, society tends to look down its nose at those who dedicate their lives to serving others? Jobs in the hospitality industry are considered jobs that people have until they get real jobs. How do we as a culture move beyond that mindset and respect and recognize hospitality jobs and the people working in them for the amazing work that they do? In a perfect world, I think that the best way to combat this truly medieval mindset is to require everyone to work just one week in a restaurant. Humility is the most direct path to empathy and appreciation. However, seeing as that is an impossible ask, I believe that, like most things, the real work starts on the individual level and must grow from there. People tend to view servers as just that; people who only exist to serve, or be subservient, to others. In reality, servers are working to curate the best experience imaginable for their guests. From the FOH to BOH, every single position in a restaurant is carefully crafted to work together to create a memory, a poignant moment in time for its guests. Sharing food and drink is something that we as humans do for every single occasion in our lives; a date night, an engagement, celebrating a personal success, mourning the loss of a loved one, you name it and it is usually commemorated with loved ones across a table while breaking bread.

I also believe that a lack of benefits and an ever-changing schedule adds to the unconventionality of hospitality jobs, making them seem less real. We have been coached to believe that work only exists Monday through Friday from 9–5, with weekends and holiday’s off. That’s not the life that industry folks live, and because it’s not what is ‘standard,’ society has a hard time lumping it in with other real jobs. But maybe we should start getting some of those benefits. What if restaurateurs were able to give their employees PTO, health insurance, and other standard benefits? Not only would the industry retain more of its core people, but perhaps, if we began to treat our own as valuable members of our operations — who deserve the benefits of a real job — society would take note and follow suit. When we as a society can begin to view those who work in the industry as makers of magic and the real MVP’s, we will be able to really understand that those who work to set the stage for so many momentous occasions in our lives are in fact working in a much more real realm than any other job industry. I will certainly never again tell myself that it’s high time a find a real job; I consider myself among the lucky few that have one.

Katie O’Hara has been working in the restaurant industry for almost 10 years. She has done it all — from bussing to serving to pastry prep and everything in between, although she is rather partial to hostessing. She thrives on the fast paced and ever-changing environments that go hand in hand with service industry jobs and loves getting to connect with new guests and help to cultivate the ‘perfect’ dining experience.

Katie considers herself a bit of a ‘life cobbler’ and has worked in myriad industries. In addition to her time spent in both fine dining establishments and dive bars alike, she has also worked in fields such as: teaching, house painting, marketing, sales, and web + graphic design. Katie is currently working on building her freelance writing career.

When not on the floor, Katie, a Colorado native from Steamboat Springs, loves spending her time running, snowboarding, practicing yoga, traveling, reading, exploring Denver’s booming dining scene, and most importantly, fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming the world’s finest cat lady. Edgar and Oliver, her furbabies, are a source of great inspiration for her current creative endeavors.

To connect with Katie regarding any potential freelance opportunities — or to share funny cat stories and videos with her — she can be reached at ktocreativeconsulting@gmail.com.